I remember when it hit me with my first pregnancy - I wasn’t a naturally tidy person back then (since then I’ve changed) but suddenly I was told by my male co-workers, “You’re too pregnant and we don’t want you going into labor in the office - go home and don’t come back till you’ve had the baby.” Fine. Just because it was a week after my due date… jerks. So home I went. I started cleaning, a little here, a little there. I would be standing at the kitchen counter so groggy when suddenly I would remember something, the junk drawer, oh my god, the junk drawer is just a pile of mess waiting to be cleaned. Who needs a junk drawer anyway? A place for everything and everything in it’s place.  read more »

10. You’re HUGE!

9. Wow, you look uncomfortable.

8. How many babies you got in there?

7. Hot enough for ya?

6. Here’s what you should do when you go into labor…

5. I’ll be in the bathroom a while.

4. I NEVER got that big when I was pregnant!

3. You must be due any day now.

2. I swear this _________ doesn’t taste as good as it looks. (insert forbidden beverage or food item, such as coffee, booze, etc.)

1. You’re HUGE!

This one is dedicated to one Mrs. B.

1. People who steal a mothers purse from her stroller leaving her stranded at the park with out keys, money, and her green card. YOU SUCK!

2. Indecisive People ;

1. Prone to or characterized by indecision; irresolute: an indecisive manager.
2. Inconclusive: an indecisive contest; an indecisive battle.
3. Not clearly defined; indefinite: indecisive boundaries running through mountainous terrain.

In parenthood, driving, personalities, ordering a god damn drink. Just pick something people.

3. Serving sizes, who in the hell eats 1/3 of a bran muffin?  read more »

With my due date rapidly approaching (at long last, August 31 is in sight) I’m in that final lap of pregnancy. Has anyone ever entered this phase gracefully? Those stinking models that you see in the pregnancy magazines, do they really wear heals and have smiles on their faces right up until the end, ankles never swollen, heartburn never churning, is that possible? Or can I just assume they’re actually human, pregnant women that enter the last month of pregnancy like we all do - ready… oh so ready, to be DONE!

Even at the end of my first pregnancy which I described earlier as “all rainbows & kittens” I was done. I had loved the pregnancy journey I’d gone on but things just start to get so squished and uncomfortable during this home stretch. My recent check up the doctor confirmed that this little man was ‘in position’ head down and ready to leave the pod. We’re ready for ya! Come out any time now.

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