Not long ago I was ‘lucky’ enough to be embroiled in some Mama Drama. I’m about the least dramatic, open book, comfortable with confrontation, honest kinda gal you could ever bump into. A mom stirred up some drama, I was open and honest with all parties involved and it boiled over. The timing was bad, I was quite pregnant and in no mood for the junior high school type antics that were flying. I felt hurt, sad, disappointed. I was not entirely innocent - I wrote a post, on here, that offended a mom. I take responsibility for my words, then, now, in the future.

At the time all of this was going on something occurred to me about the way (women in particular) people use gossip, secrets, etc. like a sort of social currency that they can use to higher their status with a given other friend(s).

This is popping up in my life again now, I’ve got this family member using the same sort of immature communication skills. Spewing out peoples secrets, words said in confidence, etc. to further their relationship with other family members. All the while hurting both parties and destroying relationships of their own and of the people around them. Doesn’t work too well does it? Why do it then, why bother. I wonder if the rush has anything to with it. Some people like drama (NOT me) they enjoy that *Kapow!* that gets delivered when they drop some juicy drama bomb in an unknowing friends lap. Think that person is your friend? That they are doing you some favor by unloading a secret on you, surely you would want to know the information but clearly it’s being delivered to you in a strange way. Not from the person who thinks it but from a person that thinks you should know about it.

When you’re the victim and someone has shed the light on a bit of smack talk that you’re the subject of, you should take a good long look at the messenger. No, we don’t need to kill the messenger but take stock of them ~ why are they cashing in this $50 gossip gift anyway? To change their social standing with you or with the other person(s) involved?

Even the most ‘boring’ person has some dirt you could shovel, something they said one time that they’d rather someone not know. I could have shoveled dirt right back on the Drama Mama, could have spilled the beans on some of her secrets that would have destroyed her friendship(s) too but I didn’t. I don’t play those reindeer games. It would have only destroyed more friendships and  that’s not my interest. Besides, I can think of better conversations to have then just simply spending gossip cash.